Black Major Tiger Force Snake Eyes

Black Major Tiger Force Snake Eyes

Today we’re taking a look at the Black Major Tiger Force Snake Eyes figure, which is probably more accurately a Tiger Force Invasor figure. There’s a lot to unpack with that.

But, I’ll be honest with you– this article is mostly just an excuse for me to voice my opinions about the 1985 Snake Eyes mold. And, to a lesser extent, my opinions of the wild world of Black Major Snake Eyes repaints. 

This isn’t a full review or anything, and I’m also not going to give this figure a rating. I just wanted to get some thoughts out onto the digital page.

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1989 GI Joe HEAT Viper

1989 GI Joe HEAT Viper Review

Today I’m joined by my friend Video Dracula, who just launched a new website! If you enjoy Transformers of all eras, you need to check it out. You can also find him on Instagram and Twitter.

Drac helped write the review and also took a ton of photos for this post. I’m sure you can tell which are mine and which are his.

The 1989 GI Joe HEAT Viper is not technically a 90s figure, but it is a figure I got around 1990 and played with throughout my childhood. I asked Drac if he wanted to collaborate on a review with me, and he suggested this late 80s weirdo. I thought it was a great idea, because what is 1989 if not the dark herald of the 90s to come?

And boy oh boy, does this figure ever foreshadow what would happen in the 1990s with GI Joe.

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My Big Nerdy Weekend: Lukewarm Takes on Snake Eyes and MOTU Revelation

It’s a big media weekend for nerds, dorks, and dweebs. Masters of the Universe: Revelation was released on Netflix yesterday and Snake Eyes: GI Joe Origins was released in theaters at some point this week. I’m not looking it up because I’m too busy typing this silly blog post.

I usually don’t get around to watching too many new things and the pop culture zeitgeist usually passes me by. Not because I’m “too cool,” but because I’m bad at actually watching both TV and movies. I have a short attention span.

I’m going to keep these Lukewarm Takes relatively short and pretty much spoiler free.

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5 Songs that Mention GI Joe and an Oddball Funskool Firefighter

Hi there. Today we have another look at a fan favorite Russian Funskool GI Joe figure. We also have some songs, some of which are more unsettling than others.

Your regularly scheduled review will be posted on Thursday. It’s not GI Joe-related, though, so I suggest you get your fill today so you don’t go hungry for the rest of the week.

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Super 7 GI Joe ReAction Figures

Super7 GI Joe: My ReAction

Hah! Clever title, right?

Clearly there are many reasons why I am not a professional Toy News Journalist. 

But I do like GI Joe, and I know more about it than I know about microbiology or the history of Reggaeton, so I thought I’d serve you up some stale takes about some fresh new product. 

If you’d like to see the actual press release from Super7, I suggest checking out or Brian Flynn’s announcement video, embedded below. 

I guess I am basically one of those YouTubers who makes millions of dollars from reacting to Star Wars cartoon trailers now. There’s no going back. Let’s move forward and let the Nord VPN sponsorship dollars roll in. 

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1995 GI Joe Extreme Ballistic (Deluxe)

1995 GI Joe Extreme Ballistic (Deluxe) Review

(Editor’s Note: Today’s review comes from my friend Tyler Martin aka Baltimore Bivouac. He was one of the first people I followed on social media when I started this project 4 years ago– and he was one of the first people to offer to help me out with a guest review. Tyler is one of the few people I know who’s just enthusiastic about 90s toys, as a concept. On his Instagram account, he showcases everything from Kenner DC figures, to Exosquad, to GI Joe, to Toy Biz Marvel, to Lego Ice Planet. And we both love Super Sonic Fighters Psyche-Out. What I’m saying is he has great taste! Today’s review is also a first for The Dragon Fortress– a GI Joe Extreme figure!)

Review and Photos by Tyler Martin

I am a GIJOE Collector that grew up in the 90s. Many of my favorite Joes were neon, Mega Marines Clutch and the recently reviewed Battle Corps Long Arm were regulars (if not the leaders) of my missions. Back then my Joes operated mainly as some sort of undercover organization rather than members of a rank-and-file military team and I was crushed as a 9-year-old when Battle Corps and 3.75 Joes disappeared in ’95.

In their place, kids like me were presented with ‘GI JOE Extreme’ to fill the void.

This blog entry is about Ballistic v2, one of the few figures from that line that is worth having, but we’ll get to him in a minute.

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1992 GI Joe Cobra Rat

1992 GI Joe Cobra Rat Review

(Editor’s Note: Today’s review comes from Robert aka RangeViper84, who was one of the earliest friends I made when I started this project. Robert’s childhood experience is quite similar to my own, as we were born in the same year. I always enjoy his take on GI Joe, and I’m delighted to present you with his take on the GI Joe line’s most unloved toys. You can find Robert on Twitter and Instagram.)

Review and Photos by Robert

I grew up watching the show, playing the NES video game, and collecting Joes from Kay-Bee Toys and Toys ‘R Us, but largely shifted out of any “collecting.” Between 2000 and 2017, I maybe purchased 10 GI Joe-related items (Cartoon DVDs, Storm Shadow Sideshow figure, to name a few). 

Then, with the birth of my son in fall 2017 I started to retrieve all of my old Joes, Turtles, Marvel, and Spawn figures from my moms house. Many O-rings had deteriorated and it was that process of repair that re-ignited my love for the franchise and desire to “get back into” GI Joe. 

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1993 GI Joe Long Arm

1993 GI Joe Long Arm Review

1993 GI Joe Long Arm

There’s no guest review today. Instead, it’s a half-guest review. Today, I’m joined by my friend Eric aka Alexx aka Toys and Tomfoolery. You probably know him already. You can visit his website (which he’ll update any day now), or check out his very active Instagram, which features so much good stuff I couldn’t even possibly describe it. He photographs every good toy line you can think, gives exhaustive rundowns of entire toy series, creates funny comics, and just shares his stunning art with the world. I am a big fan.

Eric acquired 1993 GI Joe Long Arm recently, so I asked him if he wanted to do a collaborative review. I’m not sure if he regrets it now, but he said yes. I took about 8 photos or so, but the rest are all Eric. You can tell which are which, I’m sure.

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