Hello. I hope you’ve all enjoyed your Spooky Season. This is one of my favorite times of the year. I’m not really into super gory horror movies, but I do love costumes, candy, kitsch, mischief, and Fall weather.

I’ve never really done much of a Halloween review before, and I suppose this isn’t much of one either. But, as far as vintage GI Joe figures go, the 1990 Range Viper is pretty spooky. He’s wearing a mask that consists of a stylized skull and some brains, after all. Plus, he probably eats  bugs every day.

So it’s very thematically appropriate.

So Happy Halloween! And, as always, thanks for joining me.

Continue reading “1990 GI Joe Range Viper Review” →

Well, whaddya know? It’s another GI Joe review! For those of you who don’t like adolescent karate reptiles (you absolute monsters), this should help satisfy your army doll cravings.

Today I’m looking at a figure that came from the large carded lot I bought at an estate sale a while back. I’ve only dipped into it a little bit so far, but this yellow-vested weirdo has been calling to me like a plastic Siren of ancient myth.

So let’s crash into the rocks and look at GI Joe’s Beach-Head from 1994!

Continue reading “1994 GI Joe Beach-Head Review” →

Hello everyone. I hope you’re doing well and that all of the Tylenols and ibuprofens are defending your body’s pain receptors from the rigors of old age. My results on that are a bit mixed.

Today we’re looking at a figure I’ve been wanting to review for quite a while. It’s also a figure that’s been with me since childhood. It survived a house fire and is still in pretty good shape– I’ve never even had to replace its original o-ring!

So settle in for a cozy little review of Hasbro’s 1993 GI Joe Headhunter Stormtrooper, which saw plenty of action during my formative years. And watch your fingers because this is one spiky little guy.

Continue reading “1993 GI Joe Headhunter Stormtrooper Review” →

Today we’re looking at a figure that’s very special and important to me, but also is not a figure I actually love. I don’t even use or photograph it all that often.

I figured it was time to finally look at an official, 3 3/4″ version of GI Joe’s most popular character, though, so today I’m reviewing Snake Eyes version 9 from the turn of the century.

Continue reading “2000 GI Joe Snake Eyes Review” →

Today we’re changing it up a bit. Although I’m covering three different figures today, it should be a quick one. That’s because we’re looking at some Super7 ReAction figures and, at the end of the day, there’s only so much you can say about a faux-retro toy with five points of articulation.

So grab a juicebox, put on your favorite Night Ranger tape, and let’s party like it’s some gross, corporate nostalgia-driven bastardization of 1983.

Continue reading “Super7 ReAction Figure GI Joe Raven, Red Laser, and Combat Engineer Review” →

Hello. How have you been? Are you still interested in old GI Joes? Because most of the time I still am.

Today we’re looking at a figure that is absolutely nobody’s favorite. But it’s one I got carded for less than the cost of a Wendy’s combo meal a couple years ago, and I’ve been itching to clip the accessories from the weapons tree, take some photos, and then never think about again.

So here’s 1993 GI Joe Star Brigade Duke from the Armor Tech sub-line.

Let’s get to it.

Continue reading “1993 GI Joe Star Brigade Duke (Armor Tech) Review” →

Today we’re actually looking at a GI Joe action figure from the 1990s, which is becoming something of a rarity around here. I know it’s what you all want and expect from me, though, so let’s get back on track. Shall we?

Today we’re looking at 1994 GI Joe Major Bludd (Battle Corps), a figure I’ve had since it was released in the mid 90s. We’re looking at my childhood figure, in fact!

He’s holding up pretty well after all these years, and I have a few guesses as to why that is.

Grab your mustache combs and rhyming dictionaries, because it’s time to look at Cobra’s best (and worst) mercenary poet.

Continue reading “1994 GI Joe Major Bludd (Battle Corps) Review” →