That filecard is funnier than anything I could ever hope to write in this opening section, so we’ll leave it at that.
Six Years after the destruction of the second Death Star (but thirty-something years and a thousand-something beers before the destruction of the third one), the galaxy is thrust into turmoil. Which was honestly pretty normal at that point. It had been normal since that dorky kid fell into the lava, really.
Anyway, a reborn evil threatens to enslave the galaxy, and the Republic’s third-best-selling action figure – Luke Skywalker – may become their greatest enemy.
Freed from their detention cell, a group of rebels begin their escape from the Imperial planet Byss. But the sudden appearance of Luke Skywalker, who is the only Jedi so he gets to call himself a Jedi Master, could mean unfortunate news for the Rebels.
Has Luke fallen under the spell of the dark side, or do those dark circles under his eyes just mean he needs to drink more water and invest in a better concealer?
So, The Last Jedi came out last month. My last blog post came out before that. This post was originally meant to coincide with TLJ and get me some sweet trend-clicks, but I goofed up on that one.
If you don’t want to talk about Star Wars, that’s totally fine. I get it. You can come back to this whenever you’re in the mood.
If you do want to talk about Star Wars– hello! Let’s look at a Luke Skywalker figure from the 1990s. I think it’s a safe bet, because good ol’ Luke would never generate any sort of controversy… right?