1995 Star Trek Deanna Troi as Durango

1995 Star Trek Deanna Troi as Durango – Dragon Fortress Reviews

1995 Star Trek Deanna Troi as Durango

Subject: Deanna Troi

Species: Human/Betazoid

Rank: Counselor/Cowgirl

Assignment: U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701-D

Profile: Stardate 48271.5 Deadwood, South Dakota. The site of a wild west holodeck fantasy set on Earth in the 19th Century, unfortunately programmed by a notorious pervert and Worf’s idiot son. A stranger by the name of Durango wanders into town. Durango is really Counselor Troi, who has entered the Holodeck to join Sheriff Worf in the quintessential western saga which, again, was programmed by an idiot and a pervert. The Holodeck program created by Worf’s son, Alexander and his friend, Reginald, malfunctions. This strangely wasn’t due to their incompetence, but due to the fact that Captain Picard yelled at Geordi and Data for interrupting the recording of his new space clarinet mixtape. The corrupted programming on the Holodeck spawns multiple Datas with the simulation. Geordi wanted to get back at Picard, so he plugged Data’s brain into the Enterprise, and replaced all recreational activity and food with cat poetry and Friskies. Meanwhile, on the holodeck, Troi unfortunately didn’t get to do very much.

Wild West accessories:

* Sure-Shot Rifle (we legally can’t say ‘Winchester’)

* Six Shooter Revolver

* Ring of Jail Keys (pretty sure Troi looked at these once in the episode)

* Showdown Time Clock (Worf looked at this clock once, which is good enough for Playmates)

* Bonus: Starfleet Action Base

Continue reading “1995 Star Trek Deanna Troi as Durango – Dragon Fortress Reviews”

Star Trek Innerspace Shuttlecraft Goddard

1995 Star Trek Innerspace Shuttlecraft Goddard – Dragon Fortress Reviews

Star Trek Innerspace Shuttlecraft Goddard

For this review of the 1995 Star Trek Innerspace Shuttlecraft Goddard, I’m writing a smaller review than usual. I’ll say I’m keeping at a micro level in honor of this tiny vehicle/playset and its diminutive inhabitants, but it could also be because there’s only so much to say about two semi-articulated figures and their dwarf hamster-sized vehicle.

I’ll leave it up to you to decide whether I’m paying tribute or being a lazy slob, dear readers.

Anyway, no smartass filecard or tech spec mimicry this time! If you want to read about the Shuttlecraft Goiddard, here’s a link to its entry at Memory Alpha.

On with the review!

Continue reading “1995 Star Trek Innerspace Shuttlecraft Goddard – Dragon Fortress Reviews”

1995 Mortal Kombat Sonya Blade (Movie Edition) – Dragon Fortress Reviews

 

1995 mortal kombat movie edition sonya blade

SONYA BLADE is a member of the US Special Forces and, unlike her co worker Johnny Cage, she NEVER GIVES INTO HER EMOTIONS. She is logical and stoic to a fault, and always considers all sides of an argument. She waits for all evidence before jumping to conclusions, and never lets feminine things like “feelings,” “good judgment,” or “intuition” cloud her reasoning, which makes her popular on web forums dedicated to gaming and atheism– that is, until her fellow forum members find out she’s a woman! Then, not even her extreme discipline, legendary toughness, extensive military training, sheer fighting prowess, and considerable intelligence can put her back into their good graces. When she’s playing Quake online, Sonya never turns on voice chat, but she always wins.

Sonya accidentally entered the Mortal Kombat tournament when she chased the renegade men’s cybernetics model KANO onto a boat bound for Abu Dhabi. The boat ended up on Shang Tsung’s Fantasy Island, and she ended up fighting candy colored ninjas, a four armed guy with a manbun, and a lightning god wearing a potentially culturally insensitive hat. Now, she’s tangentially related to GI JOE!

Qualified Expert: Cobra Commander’s Machine Gun, Knife, Nerf Football Missile, 14 Forms of Martial Arts, Live Motion Capture, FRIENDSHIP

From the Files of Shang Tsung, Mortal Kombat CEO: “All I really know about this Sonya Blade woman is that she’s a total narc. I was once minding my own business in the Earth Realm, driving my Pontiac Grand Am to an arms deal at an abandoned warehouse. She pulled me out of the car and confiscated a baggie of green leaves from my glove compartment. It was just sleepytime tea! You try getting to sleep with so many stolen souls swimming around in your body. It ain’t easy! Anyway, I skipped town for Outworld before my court date.”

Continue reading “1995 Mortal Kombat Sonya Blade (Movie Edition) – Dragon Fortress Reviews”