Tag: Review

2001 Jack in the Box Kids Meal Max Steel Toys

2001 Jack in the Box Kids Meal Max Steel Toy Review

On By thedragonfortressIn Misc9 Comments

2001 Jack in the Box Kids Meal Max Steel Toys

In 2001, I was going to Jack in the Box a lot. Not only did one of my friends work there, but it was also the New Hotness in town. Previously, we only really had McDonald’s, Burger King, Subway, Wendy’s, and some regional-type places like Arctic Circle.

In 2001, there was also something of a 12″ doll renaissance going on. The Toys R Us shelves were packed with Action Man, Max Steel, GI Joe, 21st Century Toys, BBI, and The Corps! in Barbie Doll scale. I would browse those toys every time I visited, but I never bought any.

Action Man and Max Steel also had pretty prominent Saturday morning cartoons at the time. When I saw the commercials for the cartoons (or, rarely, even caught the shows themselves), I liked the designs. I also thought the toys had some good stuff going on. But I never bought any, as I was much more into 3.75″ scale dolls and dolls that transformed into either vehicles or techno-organic beasts.

But, one day at Jack in the Box, I noticed they had a Max Steel Kids Meal toy line going on. I purchased one of the toys along with my traditional two tacos and Big Cheeseburger (how I miss that menu item).

A couple years ago, I got some of the other toys in the series, both because they are cool and because they aren’t really documented anywhere on the internet.

So here’s a quick review of (most of the) Jack in the Box Max Steel Kids Meal toy line from 2001.

GI Joe fans, you might actually be interested in this.

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1997 Transformers Beast Wars Claw Jaw

1997 Transformers Beast Wars Claw Jaw Review

On By thedragonfortressIn Beast Wars, Transformers6 Comments

1997 Transformers Beast Wars Claw Jaw

Hello and welcome back. Today we’re looking at a Beast Wars toy.

Beast Wars is one of my favorite toy lines ever, so it’s funny that this is only the third proper BW figure I’ve reviewed on this site, alongside some Happy Meal toys. I guess GI Joes are just easier for me to photograph. I am pretty pleased with how most of the photos in the post turned out, though. Some of them were maybe overly ambitious, but I’d rather try something cool and not quite pull it off than always do the same old thing. 

So let’s look at 1997 Transformers Beast Wars Claw Jaw, a Basic Class Maximal that Hasbro released under the Kenner brand. 

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2018 Funskool GI Joe VAMP Repaints

On By thedragonfortressIn GI Joe9 Comments

Hello there! Today we’re going to take a look at two of Funskool’s repaints/remolds of the venerable GI Joe VAMP, which were both released in 2018. It’s possible that Funskool is still making these today, as well.

Update: 9/7/21: Rony informs me that Funskool has been making the MRF and Police Jeeps since the early 00s and that they’re releasing a black Army Jeep soon. See Tweet below. 

Ostensibly, these both fall under the “Giggles” imprint, which is where Funskool releases its preschool and early childhood toys. Only one of the two VAMPs has any Giggles branding on its box, but eCommerce sites seem to list both of them as Giggles releases. 

My friend Rony (YouTube, Twitter, Instagram) sent me the Army Jeep (green one) and I bought the MRF Racing Jeep (red one) from eBay while prices were still reasonable (around $20 shipped). I did also order the Police Jeep (blue one), but it never showed up and the seller deleted their own account. So I possess neither the Police Jeep nor the money I spent on the Police Jeep. It’s sadly too expensive for me to even consider buying one now. 

This post will be done in more of an image gallery/mini-review format. I didn’t want to write a full review, but I did want to share the toys with you. Also, I used my photo tent for these pictures, and I’m still not an expert with it. You’ll notice some of the background colors, saturation levels, and brightness levels are a bit inconsistent. So please forgive me. Regardless, I think the photos are good enough for you to get a good feel for the toys. 

Let’s get to it.

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1992 GI Joe Headquarters

1992 GI Joe Headquarters Review

On By thedragonfortressIn GI Joe23 Comments

1992 GI Joe Headquarters Review

Today I’m joined by my friend Nekoman, purveyor of the Viper Pit. If you’re not following his work, you should be. He takes some of the best GI Joe photos (and toy photos in general) around, and his reviews are perfect blasts of fun, nostalgia, and insight. He’s one of my favorite people in the online action figure community. You can also find him on Instagram and Twitter.

He suggested today’s collaborative review, which I’m very excited about. Today we’re taking a look at the 1992 GI Joe Headquarters, which has an exalted place in both of our hearts.

Nekoman also took every single photo featured in today’s review, which should earn him a hero’s wage. But this is the internet, so that really just means this review will be stolen by some aggregator site like ToyFarts.ru so they can make money off of Cialis ads.

But really, every single one of you owes Nekoman a Shasta Cola. And I owe him upwards of three Shasta Colas, which I will never financially recover from.

On with the review!

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1998 Transformers Beast Wars Transmetals McDonald's Happy Meal Toys

1998 Transformers Beast Wars Transmetals McDonald’s Happy Meal Toys

On By thedragonfortressIn Beast Wars, Transformers2 Comments

That’s a hell of a title, wouldn’t you agree? But sometimes when multiple brands get involved with a cheap piece of plastic, there are layers upon layers. These are McDonald’s toys, which are Happy Meal toys. These are Beast Wars toys, which are Transformers toys. These are Transmetals, which are Beast Wars toys. It’s like an onion before it gets chopped and dehydrated into McDonald’s flavor crystals. 

Surprisingly, my Beast Machines Happy Meal Toy review is one of the most enduring and popular posts on this entire website. That means y’all like transforming fast food toys. So I’m happy to give you more. Today, we’ll be taking a look at McDonald’s second try at the Transformers Beast Era. 

So, say it with me– it’s time for 1998 Transformers Beast Wars Transmetals McDonald’s Happy Meal Toys. 

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1993 GI Joe Star Brigade Destro

1993 GI Joe Star Brigade Destro Review

On By thedragonfortressIn GI Joe22 Comments

1993 GI Joe Star Brigade Destro

The 1992 Destro is iconic for people of a certain age. The 1992 series of GI Joe was great like that. For kids of the time, the toy line served up great versions of Destro, Cobra Commander, Duke, Storm Shadow, Roadblock, Hawk, Stalker, Wet-Suit, Spirit, and Gung Ho. They were recognizable, cool, and forward-thinking. That 1992 Destro looked like he stepped right out of a Sunbow cartoon rerun. Every kid who was into GI Joe at the time wanted one. 

The 1993 GI Joe Star Brigade Destro figure, on the other hand, is not iconic. In 1993, Hasbro branched out in many different directions with GI Joe and blazed some new trails. It wasn’t always successful, and sometimes the iconography got lost in the shuffle. In an attempt to keep up with other toy lines and pop culture trends, some strange choices were made. 

I was a kid in 1993, though, and was not burdened by the jaded Joe collector mindset. I experienced Armor Tech Destro at a prime toy-loving age, but I still had some opinions on the figure. Obviously I’m going to share my past and present opinions in this review, but I’m going to dig a little deeper than “THIS BIG SPACEMAN ISN’T A REAL GI JOE.” 

Just a little. 

Armor Tech figures are widely hated by older fans because of their reduced articulation. But what did 7-12 year olds think of these toys at the time? I can answer that question. 

There’s a full review here, too, of course. And a special little surprise you’ll just have to click through to see. 

Let’s get to it. 

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1994 Exosquad Livanus with Troop Transport E-Frame

1994 Exosquad Livanus with Troop Transport E-Frame Review

On By thedragonfortressIn Exosquad6 Comments

1994 Exosquad Livanus with Troop Transport E-Frame

This review has been at least three years in the making. Maybe more. I’ve been working on it on and off since my Rita Torres review, but made only a little progress here and there until a couple weeks ago. Mostly, this toy is big and slightly hard to photograph. Or so I thought. I kind of psyched myself out– it’s actually not hard to photograph at all. I think I was just making excuses for myself.

Some of the photos in this review are old and probably not up to the “quality” of images I produce now, but I’m going to leave them in here to show how long I’ve been working on this thing. 

I also want to dedicate this review to my friend Barry B., who’s been politely asking for it ever since that Rita Torres review. Thanks for your near-infinite patience, Barry!

Without further chatter, let’s take a look at the 1994 Exosquad Livanus with Troop Transport E-Frame. 

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1990 GI Joe Freefall

1990 GI Joe Freefall Review

On By thedragonfortressIn GI Joe11 Comments

(Editor’s Note: Today’s review comes from my friend Scott, who has some great insights on GI Joe. Beyond being knowledgeable about toys, Scott is an artist, animator, game developer, and pixel art enthusiast. He’s profiling a figure that was a childhood favorite of both mine and his own. I always enjoy talking to Scott about toys, and I think he dives deeper into some aspects of GI Joe than I ever could. You can find Scott on Twitter as AnimatedTako to read more of his toy musings, see more of his art and photos, and read his thoughts on fighting games.)

Review and Photos by Scott

Freefall felt like a good place for me to start thinking about action figures critically not just because of the obvious leap of faith association I could draw to reviewing a paratrooper, but because I literally cannot remember a time where I was aware of G.I.Joe before Freefall. He and Topside were my first two figures, and most of my strongest early memories of the first house I lived in are framed around the adventures those figures had. Topside was my first figure, selected by my Dad because his first G.I.Joe was also nautically themed, a 60’s Action Sailor. 

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1989 GI Joe HEAT Viper

1989 GI Joe HEAT Viper Review

On By thedragonfortressIn GI Joe18 Comments

Today I’m joined by my friend Video Dracula, who just launched a new website! If you enjoy Transformers of all eras, you need to check it out. You can also find him on Instagram and Twitter.

Drac helped write the review and also took a ton of photos for this post. I’m sure you can tell which are mine and which are his.

The 1989 GI Joe HEAT Viper is not technically a 90s figure, but it is a figure I got around 1990 and played with throughout my childhood. I asked Drac if he wanted to collaborate on a review with me, and he suggested this late 80s weirdo. I thought it was a great idea, because what is 1989 if not the dark herald of the 90s to come?

And boy oh boy, does this figure ever foreshadow what would happen in the 1990s with GI Joe.

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1997 Masked Rider KFC Kids Meal Toys

1997 Masked Rider KFC Kids Meal Toys

On By thedragonfortressIn Kamen Rider5 Comments

(Editor’s Note: Today’s post comes from my friend Josh, co-host of the Raging Robot Partycast. Coincidentally, he goes by ‘ragingrobotparty’ on both Instagram and Twitter. Josh is a good friend who posts great toy photos and RC car videos. It’s always a delight to talk toys with Josh, and I’m over the moon about the review he contributed since it might just be the most niche post on this website yet. It also rules. And reading it made me want some mashed potatoes. Take it away, Josh!)

Review and Photos by Josh

Well, time for something weird! I’m Josh, you might know me as ragingrobotparty. Sometimes host of the Raging Robot Partycast, sometimes toy photographer, sometimes radio controlled vehicle enthusiast. All around tall dork with major divorce-dad energy who’s dwelled in the darkest parts of the dial-up internet for far too long. Today I’m here to talk to you about a set of toys from a Kids Meal that I had no idea existed until last year.

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