1997 Transformers Beast Wars Claw Jaw

1997 Transformers Beast Wars Claw Jaw Review

1997 Transformers Beast Wars Claw Jaw

Hello and welcome back. Today we’re looking at a Beast Wars toy.

Beast Wars is one of my favorite toy lines ever, so it’s funny that this is only the third proper BW figure I’ve reviewed on this site, alongside some Happy Meal toys. I guess GI Joes are just easier for me to photograph. I am pretty pleased with how most of the photos in the post turned out, though. Some of them were maybe overly ambitious, but I’d rather try something cool and not quite pull it off than always do the same old thing. 

So let’s look at 1997 Transformers Beast Wars Claw Jaw, a Basic Class Maximal that Hasbro released under the Kenner brand. 

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1997 Masked Rider KFC Kids Meal Toys

1997 Masked Rider KFC Kids Meal Toys

(Editor’s Note: Today’s post comes from my friend Josh, co-host of the Raging Robot Partycast. Coincidentally, he goes by ‘ragingrobotparty’ on both Instagram and Twitter. Josh is a good friend who posts great toy photos and RC car videos. It’s always a delight to talk toys with Josh, and I’m over the moon about the review he contributed since it might just be the most niche post on this website yet. It also rules. And reading it made me want some mashed potatoes. Take it away, Josh!)

Review and Photos by Josh

Well, time for something weird! I’m Josh, you might know me as ragingrobotparty. Sometimes host of the Raging Robot Partycast, sometimes toy photographer, sometimes radio controlled vehicle enthusiast. All around tall dork with major divorce-dad energy who’s dwelled in the darkest parts of the dial-up internet for far too long. Today I’m here to talk to you about a set of toys from a Kids Meal that I had no idea existed until last year.

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1997 GI Joe Alley Viper

1997 GI Joe Alley Viper Review

Today, we’re looking at my first Alley Viper. This is my actual childhood figure, who’s somehow still in really good shape. It’s a toy from a year that makes most GI Joe fans point their noses firmly skywards, but it’s one of my favorite years for the toy line. 

The 1997 GI Joe Alley Viper is the reason that the Alley Viper is one of my favorite Cobra troops (it comes in second, only behind the Astro Viper) and is probably one of the major reasons I’ve continued to love GI Joe for my entire life. 

Like all 1997 Joe figures, he’s a bit of an oddball. There are many reasons Serious Collectors don’t love this toy, but I don’t care about any of those things. This figure is one of my most cherished GI Joe possessions. So, of course I’m going to tell you all about that– but I’ll review the toy, as well. As much as I ever review a toy, anyway. 

You know what you’re getting into at this point. 

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1997 GI Joe Baroness – Dragon Fortress Reviews

1997 GI Joe Baroness

The spoiled offspring of wealthy European aristocrats, THE BARONESS is one of the few anti-government radicals to ever put her trust fund where mouth is. She graduated from student radicalism to international terrorism, and grew more and more ambitious with her plans to subvert international capitalism and the military industrial complex. Her parents still think she’s going through a phase. Despite her librarian glasses and privileged upbringing, The Baroness is a qualified fighter pilot, assassin, espionage operative, and intelligence analyst. If Cobra Commander ever dared to pay her 70% of what he pays Major Bludd or Zartan, he knows he’d wake up with one fewer kidney and his secret identity revealed on the front page of TMZ. Ruthless, cunning, smart, disciplined, and ambitious, Baroness put her college degrees to good use in service of COBRA.

Qualified Expert: M-16; AK-47; RPG7, Standard Issue Early 00s Laser Rifle, Leather Pants, Warby Parker Coupons, Uzi, All NATO and Warsaw Pact Fashion Magazines, H.I.S.S. tank operator, Fixed Wing Aircraft

From the Files of Cobra Commander: “Though my forces made extensive use of the scoped high-density laser rifle when we were suffering a budget crunch in the early 2000s, Baroness used that weapon before it was cool. Though it pains me to admit it, I often listen to her advice. After all, it’s either her or Destro– and who are you going to trust? The college graduate with glasses and a sophisticated-but-vague Eastern European accent, or a guy with an open collar and a disco medallion? And, unlike most of my command structure, Baroness does more with her spare time than snorting crushed up prescription cat valium, watching reruns of Home Improvement, and prank calling Storm Shadow. Though, to be honest, I wish she’d prank call Storm Shadow more often. She’s a master of silly voices! He’d never catch on!”

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