Today we’re looking at a GI Joe figure that’s both iconic to many people around my age and despised by many people who grew up with the earlier years of A Real American Hero. It’s a divisive figure.

You’ll probably guess which camp I’m in, though. You already know what kind of website this is.

So let’s take a look at a figure that represents Dr. Mindbender’s transformation from orthodontist-turned-muscle-Super-Scientist into cyborg-LA-Lakers-fanatic-Mad-Doctor.

This should be a fun one, so let’s get started.

Continue reading “1993 GI Joe Dr. Mindbender Review” →

Hello everyone. I hope you’re doing well and that all of the Tylenols and ibuprofens are defending your body’s pain receptors from the rigors of old age. My results on that are a bit mixed.

Today we’re looking at a figure I’ve been wanting to review for quite a while. It’s also a figure that’s been with me since childhood. It survived a house fire and is still in pretty good shape– I’ve never even had to replace its original o-ring!

So settle in for a cozy little review of Hasbro’s 1993 GI Joe Headhunter Stormtrooper, which saw plenty of action during my formative years. And watch your fingers because this is one spiky little guy.

Continue reading “1993 GI Joe Headhunter Stormtrooper Review” →

Hello. How have you been? Are you still interested in old GI Joes? Because most of the time I still am.

Today we’re looking at a figure that is absolutely nobody’s favorite. But it’s one I got carded for less than the cost of a Wendy’s combo meal a couple years ago, and I’ve been itching to clip the accessories from the weapons tree, take some photos, and then never think about again.

So here’s 1993 GI Joe Star Brigade Duke from the Armor Tech sub-line.

Let’s get to it.

Continue reading “1993 GI Joe Star Brigade Duke (Armor Tech) Review” →

October of 2022 is a very special month here at The Dragon Fortress, because it’s all dedicated to The Most Important Member of GI Joe (some say The Only Important Member of GI Joe)– Specialist David F. Kunitz aka OZONE.

All month long, we’ll be looking at each ARAH version of GI Joe’s environmental safety trooper. Today, we’re starting with both versions of Ozone released in 1993 for the Star Brigade sub-line.

So how does an ozone replenishment specialist work as a combat astronaut? That’s what we’re here to find out.

Welcome to OZONE OCTOBER!

Continue reading “1993 GI Joe Ozone (Star Brigade) Review” →

Today on The Dragon Fortress, we’re looking at an odd figure I have neither nostalgia for nor childhood attachment to. It’s the 1993 GI Joe Cyber-Viper, who is one of the strangest figures in the ARAH toy line with an outlandish color scheme.

Those qualifications fit my mission statement perfectly, but my opinion on Cyber-Viper may surprise you. Or maybe not. You could just be really good at reading people, or be reading my thoughts through a 5G tower. Usually I only let the government read my mind but ,since you’re doing it for a good cause (a late 30-something’s opinion on an ancient GI Joe toy), we’ll let it slide this time.

This review also includes a cameo from one of my good friends and all-time favorite internet toy enthusiasts. But that’s a surprise for later.

Anyway, let’s talk about monsters and cyborgs. 

Continue reading “1993 GI Joe Cyber-Viper (Mega Marines) Review” →

Well, I finally finished photographing the review I was talking about in my previous post. And wouldn’t you know it– it’s another GI Joe mail away from 1993. I have very few of those (but want basically all of them), so don’t expect it to be a big trend. I just felt like reviewing this figure.

Today we’re talking about the GI Joe Spirit mail away from 1993, who was part of the International Action Force four-pack figure offer. He was sold in a set with Big Bear, Big Ben, and Budo. Let’s hope Hawk doesn’t do roll call in alphabetical order every time he assembles the IAF. Oh, to be an S in a world of Bs.

Let’s take a look at the figure.

Continue reading “1993 GI Joe Spirit (Mail Away) Review” →

Hey look, it’s another review I photographed last summer. That means we’re getting to the end of my backlog and I should probably figure out a way to take more GI Joe photos.

But that’s a problem for Future Dustin.

Today, let’s bask in the glow of the Neon Past and spend some quality time with Deep Six version 4, a Mail Away figure from 1993.

Continue reading “1993 GI Joe Deep Six (Mail Away) Review” →

Hey, remember that little backlog of photos I mentioned? I decided to finally do a review with some of those photos. Now, please remain calm and don’t rush to congratulate me all at once.

Today we’re looking at one of the most unpopular figures in the entire vintage GI Joe toy line, who also represents one of the most popular fictional characters in the entire world. That’s right! We’re looking at 1993 GI Joe Street Fighter 2 Chun-Li.

That’s a bit of a mouthful, but it is her official title. Well, actually ‘The Strongest Woman in the World’ is her official title, but ‘1993 GI Joe Street Fighter 2 Chun-Li’ is her official Hasbro title.

And boy oh boy, does this toy have ‘1993 Hasbro’ written all over it in shocking blue and yellow.

Let us proceed.

Continue reading “1993 GI Joe Street Fighter 2 Chun-Li Review” →