Are you ready for an anniversary party, a reptile enthusiast, and some wrestle men?
Then boy howdy, you are in luck!
Monday 7/12/21 marked the 4th anniversary of The Dragon Fortress! Can you believe I’ve been at this for four whole years?? And I almost have 20 full reviews to show for it!
Thanks to all of you who have been with me from the beginning (A-Man, Mike T, RTG, Battle Armor Dad, Nekoman, Cujo, Dial H, and a few others) and thanks to everyone who’s joined me recently. This almost feels like a real website at this point!
Anyway, since it’s a Tuesday, I’m here to give you some extra content. We’ll have a full review on Thursday.
Today, you’re getting a look at Russian Funskool Croc Master, and five more mini reviews of various Masters of the Universe Origins and/or Masters of the WWE Universe figures.
Russian Funskool GI Joe Croc Master
Here it is, complete with photos of the figure from every angle. All the in-depth information you would demand from me if we ever talked anymore. *sniff*
There are also plenty of comparison photos showing this figure alongside the Hasbro Croc Master. Click the link below.
Speaking of my Hasbro Croc Master, he’s been chilling inside my Cobra Rat for as long as I’ve had him. It’s a good vehicle for him. For this little profile, though, I had to take him out of the Rat. That’s when I noticed he was positively loosey-goosey. I took him apart for the first time and his torso made that telltale “crack” a GI Joe figure makes when you unscrew it for the first time. Though it was still hanging on by a thread, his o-ring had almost disintegrated entirely.
I’m convinced that I replaced the original o-ring on a figure from 1987. The figure is almost as old as I am, and its o-ring held out for all those years. That’s quite impressive.
Oh yeah, and my friend Robert reviewed the Cobra Rat, if you missed that.
In the corporate world I have absolutely no presence in, that’s what we call synergy, baby!
Wrestle Men and Barbarians
This week I got a wild hair up my posterior and decided to continue my old Twitter thread where I post mini-reviews of MOTU figures. I thought I’d share them with you here, too, both because it inflates my word count and because not all of you follow me on Twitter (rude).
Ultimate Warrior (Version 2)
Ultimate Warrior: I remember the wrestler, but the actual human seems kinda crappy. This is a great weirdo barbarian figure though! Sadly, he has no weapons and closed fists, so Jake the Snake had to donate a hand. The cape looks very cool but is a bit of a hassle. 6/10
KANE. Another wrestler I know! Also a politician? Anyway, making him into a Roboto was a great choice. Awesome detailing and fun design. Cool effects part. He’s gonna be great for kitbashes, too. I really like this one. 8/10
Stephanie McMahon. I have no idea who she is, other than someone related to that bastard Vince. I love her “Evil-Lyn but mall goth” looks and skull mask (which others seem to not like), and the bone wand is brilliant. The right arm likes to pop out of its socket, though. 7/10
Rise of Evil 2-Pack – Kronis
Trap Jaw: The Prequel aka Kronis. The head looks a bit silly (like a Madball), but this is MOTU after all. I’m a huge fan of the 200X series, and the old Kronis/TJ MOTUC figure was an all time great. This figure has some small problems, but I’m very excited it exists. 7/10
Rise of Evil 2-Pack – Keldor
KELDOR. Seeing preview images of this figure is what got me started collecting MOTUO. And the head sculpt is perfect! So is the outfit. The glowing green energy blade and Havoc Staff are gorgeous. And man, WHAT A CAPE! So dashing!
He also comes with an alternate sorta-Alcala style Skeletor head. It has jeweled eyes that reflect the light in the spookiest way possible. Sadly, the purple on the hood really only matches this figure, so swapping options are more limited than I thought. Still, Keldor is a 9/10.
Anniversary Party and Sign Off
Happy Anniversary to me!
I want to take this space to give an extra special thanks to the contributors who have helped this website continue while I am mostly away from my toys and photography equipment. Without them, this site would be dead in the water. Which would be a shame, as it’s just starting to actually grow.
Huge Thanks To:
- Erick (Surveillance Port)
- Mario Xavier (YouTube, Twitter)
- Cody (Instagram)
- Sintechness (Twitter, Instagram)
- Video Dracula (Instagram, Twitter)
- Colin H. (Colin’s Joes)
- Nekoman (The Viper Pit)
- RTG (Attica Gazette)
- Ross Sewage (Blog, Instagram, Twitter)
- Eric Setzke (Toys and Tomfoolery, Instagram)
- Robert aka RangeViper84 (Twitter, Instagram)
When Robert did his Rat review last week, I desperately wanted to work a couple rat-themed song embeds in there. But, since it was his review and because I couldn’t figure out how to do it organically, I left them out.
But since this my Anniversary Party, I’ll share them now, dammit. At my party everyone is at my mercy. Those are the rules.
Wipers – ‘Return of the Rat’
Naked Raygun – ‘Rat Patrol’
Also, Robert’s review got a little shoutout on the latest episode of GI Joburg, a long time Dragon Fortress ally. I mean, they pretty much badmouthed the Rat the entire time, but not everyone is as cultured as my friend Robert.
(That was a joke, Steve. Please invite me on the podcast again.)
Anyway, thanks for coming along for this wild ride with me. I appreciate all of you.
Are you enjoying MOTU Origins and its greasier, more drug addled sister line? Do you appreciate Funskool Croc Master’s refined color palette? Why do so many old punk songs talk about rats? Let me know in the comments!